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1lost1 Profile
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Minion of Mayhem

Registered: 10-2006
Posts: 2791
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My peanut


My youngest is 1.5 years old and learning about everything. She has brought some girl power into the house, so I am thankful for that & she really helped partially fill a void in my heart. She has a daycare that she goes to when I don't take her to the office or work from home for the day. Wow it had been a while since I had been in the baby business- I realized I am the type of person who needs the patter of a little one beside her. I missed having someone to take care of. We have a blast. Through the week it's difficult, we don't get as much time together as I would like if I don't take her to work- she likes to go to bed about 7:00 pm a little earlier later in the week :( but we make the most of our time together. When I walk through the doors of daycare and get back to her class she drops everything and comes trucking over so I am more at ease about daycare than I thought I would be. Family watched my boys when they were little, I never had to have strangers take care of them- so needless to say this whole world of daycare makes me nervous. I love where I found for her though and my Mom can see the place from her front yard. It also ended up a girl I babysat when I was growing up works there- so to this point I feel safe and satisfied with it. Daycare is scarey though.

Just about ready to begin potty 101. The boys were a breeze, a few m&m's and they were hooked. This little gal though I feel isn't going to be so easy. But we'll see how it goes. Love to hear what worked best for anyone who has had potty 101 recently. She is off the bottle has been off since about 9 months old so we conquered that. If I could get her going potty (when she is ready) and keep her from touching the big tv- I will feel like I have accomplished something. She loves to kiss elmo & bigbird when she sees them. It's a work in progress- she loves to push my buttons.

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Mayhem of Motherhood
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Apr/15/2007, 5:27 pm Link to this post Send PM to 1lost1 Yahoo
 
bnlred Profile
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Registered: 07-2006
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Re: My peanut


Awww! She sounds adorable! Leaving them at daycare is hard at first. I remember leaving my little guy and although I knew it was a safe place with qualified people (it was actually a preschool with mothers morning out classes), I still felt guilty. It paid off when he not only ran to me at the end of the class, but also ran into the building too. I could tell he loved both school and me and I knew he would do well.

We only have the one but have been thinking of adopting a second child, an infant probably. Its hard though since we are so far out of that diaper stage and going back would be another change of life. My son would make a fantastic big brother though so, we'll see :)
Apr/16/2007, 9:36 am Link to this post Send PM to bnlred
 
1lost1 Profile
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Minion of Mayhem

Registered: 10-2006
Posts: 2791
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Re: My peanut


I am so pro adoption- I think its just wonderful. One of my best friends in the whole world was just reuinted with her firstborn this past month, a son. He is 22 and his family did a wonderful job with him. They nurtured and loved him in all the right ways- adoption for them all was truly a blessing. Her being reunited with him was the second miracle. Theirs was a story that really promotes the miracle of adoption and how it can change some many lives. It's a wonderful gift for all involved.

My brother's best friend from the service adopted a little boy from Korea. They were unable to have babies on their own and were finally able to adopt. Honestly it seemed like the whole process took a very, very long time. That little guy was sure worth the wait though. He is as perfect as it gets. He came off of that plane and went into Kim's arm and it was just as if he had been here his whole life. He was meant to be theirs. They live out of state so we don't get to see them as often as I would like, their little guy is as old as my youngest, but I am counting on them getting time to play together this summer. My brother also mentioned they are going to begin the process of adopting their second child so I am very excited for them.

And yes getting back into the diaper stage was a huge change for us, but it must have been meant to be because it just sort of happened. We had one incident with the carseat, her little head rolled forward while I was driving and one bathtub incident (I forgot how slipery little babies are when wet;) ) that made me feel as if I was a first time Mom all over again- but she is still with us and nothing beats being a first time Mom in my book so everything just worked for us. We were meant to have that little gal.

You'll definately have to keep me posted if you decide to go through with the adoption process, everyone can keep their fingers crossed for you and that should help things along. I believe strongly in the power of good thoughts

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Mayhem of Motherhood
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Apr/16/2007, 1:39 pm Link to this post Send PM to 1lost1 Yahoo
 
bnlred Profile
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Re: My peanut


Aww, thanks for all those kind words! We have the paperwork to start the journey and have filled out most of it, but we still want to make sure its the right thing for our family. My son would be an awesome big brother and having a sibling would be great for him too. We love kids so us being parents isn't an issue. We also have alot of friends who have adopted.

Although we initally looked into international adoption, specifically Russia, the climate there is tenous and even if you have seen the child numerous times and bonded, if the court hasn't ruled and another Russian or even European couple wants that child, they will take them away from you. It can be tragic for all involved. Plus it requires alot of time away from the US during a mandatory waiting period and I would not want to leave my son this long. Its not as easy as it once was and is very very expensive.

For us, adopting from Korea or China just wasn't the best situation. I applaud all those that do, but we really had to search for what we felt would be best. We know there are plenty of babies born in the US that also need good homes, so we decided to pursue this. By going this route, we would more than likely get a newborn, since we would probably use an adoption attorney (this was our preference to protect us, the mom, and the child). Although a toddler would be great age wise, we really aren't prepared for the foster care system and all the issues that can bring. That may sound selfish to some, but I firmly believe you have to know what you are able and willing to deal with before you commit a lifetime to raising a child as their parent. The attorney we have inquired with actually wrote most of the adoption laws for our state and has excellent placements since the biological moms seek him and the office out, rather than the other way around. We have a friend who used him and said he was wonderful. The moms receive great counseling and care and the interaction is based on everyone's comfort level. The moms actually choose the adoptive parents too, which is nice for them.

As you can see, we have put alot of time and research into this so far, but just haven't actually made the first official move to get it going. Soon, maybe though.

Regardless, thanks for all the words of encouragement and I'll definitely keep the board posted. :)
Apr/16/2007, 2:03 pm Link to this post Send PM to bnlred
 
FeedYourHead Profile
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Registered: 05-2006
Location: NorCal
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Re: My peanut


I think that's great red!

My friend's brother and his wife who were unable to have children adopted a couple of 'mixed race' children - I only mention they are mixed race, because I guess it is easier and faster to adopt 'mixed race' infants - or at least that was their experience at the time - things may have changed as that was quite some time ago - I imagine their children are teenagers now!!! :omg:

so - my "two cents" - if it's worth even that ... lol ;)

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Apr/16/2007, 3:36 pm Link to this post Send PM to FeedYourHead MSN
 
bnlred Profile
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Re: My peanut


your "two cents" are always platinum with me :)
Apr/16/2007, 3:44 pm Link to this post Send PM to bnlred
 
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Re: My peanut


quote:

bnlred wrote:

your "two cents" are always platinum with me :)



 :thnjs

you're so sweet! :hrts

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Apr/18/2007, 2:49 am Link to this post Send PM to FeedYourHead MSN
 
MrsDouglass Profile
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Re: My peanut


1L1- Our girls must have been born around the same time (september 2005). We were an all boy family before she came along as well. I love having a girl! And she's already girly, which I'm excited about. I was afraid I'd get a tomboy when what I wanted was someone to play Barbies with ;) .

Red--
My oldest child (8yrs old) is adopted. We used an attorney rather than an agency as well, although for different reasons. We weren't even looking to adopt. I was still trying fertility drugs, and a women I worked with knew about it. She approached me one day and said that her daughter, who was 17, was pregnant with her second child (she had the first at 14) and she wanted to place it for adoption. Would we be interested in doing a private, open adoption? We said yes, got the lawyer that same day and three months later our Benjamin was born. It was a great experience. We were able to be in the delivery room and I was the first to hold him. The cost was also much less than using an agency (which was good because we were poor college students in a one bedroom basement apartment). The legal fees were $2000, the homestudy and post placement study was $700 and we had to pay for the 11 hours Ben stayed in the hospital before we could take him home. Our health insurance at the time paid us $2500 to help cover adoption expenses, so it all ended up costing about $500 out of pocket. $500 for an infant adoption is pretty good!

6 years later I had the shock of my life when I discovered I was pregnant. Liam was born in August of 04 in Germany. He was born with severe congenital heart defects due to the fact that I was diabetic at the time I conceived and didn't know it. My blood sugar was so high when his heart developed that it developed with defects. We were med-evaced to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia where he had 2 open heart surgeries. The military transferred us here to the DC area so he could be close to both Philadelphia and Walter Reed medical center.

When he was about 4 months old and we knew he was stable and would live a fairly normal life (he'll have at least one more open heart surgery, though), we decided to try again. If it took 7 years to get pregnant once, who knew how long it would take a second time?
Apparently it only took a few hours because 2 weeks after we started trying the pregnancy test was positive.

At 31 weeks I developed preecclampsia (pregnancy related high blood pressure) and they had to do an emergency c-section. Luckily, they were able to give me the full 48 hour dose of steroids to develop her lungs. So, even though she was only 3 lbs, she was perfectly healthy. She stayed in my room and came home with me. She was so tiny that we had to dress her in doll clothes. We had her blessed in church when she was a week old. I couldn't find a dress to fit her anywhere, so i ended up going to the build-a-bear workshop and buying a fairy costume. It worked. Then we bought a bear and now the bear wears it.

She's still really tiny--wearing size 6-9 month clothes and she's nearly 20 months, but she's a little brute. She doesn't let her brothers push her around.

Sorry--didn't mean to ramble so much!
I'll try to post pictures in the picture section.

---


http://douglassdiaries.blogspot.com/
May/1/2007, 12:37 pm Link to this post Send PM to MrsDouglass Yahoo
 
1lost1 Profile
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Minion of Mayhem

Registered: 10-2006
Posts: 2791
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Re: My peanut


That was a great read Mrs. D. Olivia is tiny too healthy as a horse she just is thin. I bought some 18 month outfits the other day the capri's fell right straight to the floor (had her little camel hump been filled she might have held them up) that's what we call her belly. 6-9 months fit her around the waist, but she needs the length of a 12 or 18 month pant. So we act like alot of things are capri's otherwise she would slide right out of her britches.

Have to ask too and if this is too personal by all means just say so. Your first son, did the biological Mom and your co-worker stay in touch with the little guy or did they decide not to do that even though the requested open adoption? That would be so wonderful and so hard too all at the same time & I was curious what worked best for them.

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Mayhem of Motherhood
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May/1/2007, 12:50 pm Link to this post Send PM to 1lost1 Yahoo
 
MrsDouglass Profile
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Re: My peanut


Not too personal at all!

We sent pictures and letters for several months, and when Ben was 3 months old she came to see him. Also, we lived in the same small town, so there were occasional chance meetings at Walmart and the grocery store.

We moved out of state wen he was about 9 months old. His birthmother decided at that point that she didn't want any further contact. Her reason was that she didn't want to have to try to answer why she kept her first son but not Ben.

So, Ben knows her name and we have pictures of her, Ben and her older son together in the hospital when Ben was born, but doesn't remember her at all.

As for her mother, she would never hold ben, but she did visit him with her daughter when ben was 3 months.

They have both since moved and gave no forwarding info. We have no idea where they are. I actually wish she'd stayed in contact. Ben would like to meet her.

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http://douglassdiaries.blogspot.com/
May/1/2007, 1:34 pm Link to this post Send PM to MrsDouglass Yahoo
 


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