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suzidfloosey Profile
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Registered: 11-2006
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EEK!!


I probably shouldn't write - it'll jinx us I know but just had to tell youse that our boy is doing GREAT! emoticon
He is enjoying school, working hard - did 3 exams this week (they keep testing him as they don't believe he has absorbed the info) and got 2 A's and a B and is in really good form. He is up and out in the morning, smiling in the evening....good times so we'll enjoy them while they last. Mind you my work is crap at the moment so there has to be something but I don't care a bit about that once our man and all our family is happy and doing well. Hope y'all have a good w/end

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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
Oct/5/2007, 9:00 am Link to this post Send PM to suzidfloosey
 
1lost1 Profile
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Minion of Mayhem

Registered: 10-2006
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EEK!!


How wonderful... and I had to chuckle because I knew it was going well and knew you held back saying anything in fear of the jinx (same holds true with Justin ~ things are going so great). This really could be you man's year. How wonderful he leaves for the morning smiling and I love how they keep testing him and he continues to excel ~ so happy for you and I do hope the work situation clears ~ but if things are good at home I would imagine you can hang a little better while that works itself out.

Have a great weekend ~ we are going to carve a few pumpkins so I am anxious for it to begin



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Mayhem of Motherhood
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Oct/5/2007, 12:24 pm Link to this post Send PM to 1lost1 Yahoo
 
suzidfloosey Profile
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EEK!!


Wow - carving already! In Ireland the decorations go up the day before halloween LOL!

Yes, it's great and today he came home he got 83% in Irish language (the subject they let him choose lower level in) - the highest in his class, a language subject....it's just amazing! and that's with him not getting to finish as his co-ord probs really slow his writing and he should really be doing his tests on laptop but they can't seem to organise it. His teacher gave him special mention which i thought was nice and we got a positive note home - a first. He got 10/10 on the letter writing question which again is amazing for a kid with AS. He's amazing...truly amazing...

Re. work - i let rip yest at the complete pr**k i work with and went straight to the MD - who agreed with me 100%. He's a coniving, sneaky, manipulative dangerous person....but he is a partner so we'll see, I doubt I'll stay there past xmas. As you say I couldn't care less really as long as my family is doing ok!

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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
Oct/5/2007, 2:17 pm Link to this post Send PM to suzidfloosey
 
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Minion of Mayhem

Registered: 10-2006
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Re: EEK!!


quote:

His teacher gave him special mention which i thought was nice and we got a positive note home - a first. He got 10/10 on the letter writing question which again is amazing for a kid with AS. He's amazing...truly amazing...



Very Cool emoticon

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Oct/5/2007, 2:20 pm Link to this post Send PM to 1lost1 Yahoo
 
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EEK!!


Well now we're both jinxed Lost! LOL! A phonecall this morning - of course to hubby's phone as he's the 'easier' one for them to deal with. Hubby spotted the no. and tossed the phone to me. It went something like this:
" Hello I'm Ms.XXX your son's year teacher for this year. We haven't met and i haven't taught [our son]. However [our son] is regularly saying things to staff and students like 'Shut up, Idiot, Moron' etc and this is not acceptable. I would like you to come to my office tomorrow to discuss this"

Well.....the lady got an earful....a very targetted, controlled and intelligent earful but an earful nonetheless. Who are you? i asked, why have we never heard of you, why have we never met you? why are you working with our son without having accessed the ASD literature etc we've been sending to the school for the last 3yrs. No, i won't be coming in tomorrow it won't achieve anything and you may not know this but I work fulltime as well as rearing a family and writing umpteen letters to your school. It is up to you to call the ASD service, put together a meeting to discuss this properly & put structures/strategies in place etc and we would be very happy to attend this meeting.

"oh, but he's upsetting other students by calling them stupid" - to which i replied "so you're telling me that the term 'stupid' from a bald, 14yr old with an obvious disability is upsetting to other normal kids? do you have any idea of the things our son gets called on a daily basis?". She says " i went up to him to tell him not to use those words and he told me 'shut up you moron'" to which i replied "do you think any normal 14yr old would say that? they would be too smart to say that to a teachers face altho' would probably say it behind your back. At least with our son there's no 'wilyness' you get it straight"

So i sent her off with a flea in her ear- she's a PE teacher and thinks she's tough LOL! Yes, we don't like him saying these things but it's his ASD that causes this and he needs to be taught strategies to change. It's up to them to develop these in conjunction with ASD services and in the school environment and then we'll enforce them from home also. He's doing so well but they have to come up with something. This woman i can guarantee hasn't read one letter or leaflet or printout that I've sent in - I bet you a million bucks!

Anyway after the call I spoke to the ASD centre who backed me up and agreed the place to address this is in the IEP (which i keep asking for and they don't organise). I followed up then with a letter to the principle as follows - anyway it read like this (names deleted):

Dear [principal],
This letter is in response to the phonecall I got today from [our sons] year teacher [teacher name]. I was told that because [our son] was calling teachers and pupils names such as ‘Idiot, Moron, Stupid’ etc that I needed to come in tomorrow to discuss this. [principals name], I could pull out a raft of letters from the last 3yrs (since [our son] was in 5th class) that explain why [our son] uses language such as this. [our son] has a significant lack of social understanding caused by his ASD. This has been explained to school staff by us and by [ASD rep] numerous times since [our son] started at school. This information now needs to be made available to [teacher] so that she can understand the significant ASD & health challenges that [our son] experiences. It is unfortunate that we hadn’t heard about the new allocation of year head for [our son] or hadn’t met this teacher earlier in the term. It is important for her to meet [ASD rep] also to become familiar with [our sons] challenges. An unfamiliar teacher, approaching [our son] without a clear knowledge of his challenges re. ASD and asking him to stop using this language, would have been at best confusing for him and at worst provocative. I will again print this paragraph from previous letters, the last of which was at the end of the summer term in May ‘07:

“the language [our son] uses e.g. “shut up” or calling people “fool” or “idiot” is not ideal but it should be taken in the context that it is said in that it is being said by a child with autism when he’s trying to deal with a situation he finds difficult. This does not mean that he is right in what he is saying, but communication is extremely difficult for him and when he tells someone e.g. to shut up this is an indication that he is stressed and the statement should not be taken as rudeness/an insult but as a sign that he is struggling and needs to be helped to use some conflict avoidance strategies. He gets verbal and loud when he is stressed and that needs to be noted by his SNA as soon as it starts to happen and avoidance strategies put in place immediately as per training provided by the autism centre & NEPS. I’m typing this so that you can get a feel for how [our son] thinks and the rigidity of his thought processes. This rigidity is caused by his autism. [our son] has many strengths in the area of his intellect but he equally has many challenges in the area of social/emotional development and in the ability to deal with problems/changes/difficult situations.”

IEP - As per previous requests since September [principals name] , we need an IEP for [our son] asap. I spoke to [ASD rep] following on from the phone call from [teacher]. He agrees that an IEP is needed asap and that if [our sons] use of language has become a major issue for staff now, then an IEP is the right place to address this and to develop strategies for going forward. He also mentioned that he has a new OT on board who can attend the IEP with him to address the posture concerns that were raised previously by [our son's assistant] and ourselves. That would make 3 main items for the meeting:
1. Review of progress to date
2. Language strategies for [our son]
3. OT strategies for [our son] re. posture

The IEP would be an ideal forum for all new staff and outside members to meet the existing team working with [our son] and discuss these issues. As always we are very open to supporting any approach, that is well planned and ASD based, from home.

Everyone is working very hard around [our sons] placement including school staff, his parents, ASD staff, NEPS and [our son] himself. This term has been very busy for [our son], each week he has tests (sometimes several) and he revises hard to do his best in these.

Please let us know how you wish to progress and the dates for the IEP, preferably before half term break-up on the 26th.
Many thanks,





_____________________________
[us]
cc: [ASD REP](ASD), [psychology services](NEPS)




Jaysus - like i have time for this crapola! Anyway i'm not going to stress too much but felt i had to address it especially as i was refusing to go into meet this woman... the joys!


Last patched up by suzidfloosey, Oct/15/2007, 9:20 am


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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
Oct/15/2007, 9:08 am Link to this post Send PM to suzidfloosey
 
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Minion of Mayhem

Registered: 10-2006
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EEK!!


It's in the air Suzi. I chuckled a bit when I read how they phone hubby because he is easier. Jimmy is the easier of him and me ~ and he is always first point of contact. Honestly I don't know how you do it. I so admire how you keep your cool and keep at it and on top of them on a continual basis. It's a true gift. Also going to guess you are their nightmare because you keep them to task and they can't pull the wool over your eyes. Can only imagine they are in a tizzy as they decide how they wish to progress.

It appears this might possibly be the time the the IEP gets implemented. I hope that it does. I'll be anxious to hear the response from the principal. Would imagine the gal feels she got an earful and the principal now has an eyeful and your letter is circulating like crazy there today. They need to circle the wagons in a way that provides your son with the best. Please keep us posted and we are pulling for you all :)

It sure is a Monday ~ no doubt about that.

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Mayhem of Motherhood
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Oct/15/2007, 12:17 pm Link to this post Send PM to 1lost1 Yahoo
 
suzidfloosey Profile
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EEK!!


The letter won't go in till tomorrow as i only got the call this morn. Got note this eve saying the IEP is on the 25th! I had asked for it since Sept. They will get the letter tomorrow and I'm sure we'll be having 'letter war' for the next week or so. Honestly I wish they would just do their bloody jobs! I love the way they look at us saying how hard they are working - yeah, try stepping in our shoes or the shoes of anyone who has a special child, other kids, jobs etc and then tell me that your 7 hour day, 165 holidays paid per year is a tough job. I should what some mom's of 'specials' i know do which is to anwer the phone with 'what's wrong now' and finish with 'it's your job get on with it' but i can't and try to facilitate and 'move things on' as much as i can.

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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
Oct/15/2007, 2:34 pm Link to this post Send PM to suzidfloosey
 
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EEK!!


Ho hum he's excluded from his irish language class today - told today he's having 'time out' but no indication of how long. Our son hasn't a clue how long. Another long letter saying the principal of time out is a defined time so what is it? Also again spoke re. the fact that exclusion just treats the symptoms not the cause etc. Was a bit sneaky tho' and added this for the biatch who is the new year head....

We would like to say that we look forward to working with [her] around [our sons]placement in [school]. It’s unfortunate we didn’t meet before an incident occurred however [our sons] file in [school] contains a lot of documentation re. ASD from the last 3 years. Should you require further information please do not hesitate to ask. With [her] in the position of year head acting as an advocate both for [our son] and the staff who work with [our son], his placement at [school] should continue to be as successful as it has been to date.

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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
Oct/16/2007, 5:25 pm Link to this post Send PM to suzidfloosey
 
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Minion of Mayhem

Registered: 10-2006
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EEK!!


Wow ~ I am stunned to a degree. Guessing the time out was more for staff because it makes their day easier not having to teach him appropriately. I can't imagine he is the only child in the class who has expressed something verbally that some view inappropriate, ASD/ and Non ASD students. Does he miss studies in time out while they decide how to proceed? That's really just a shame. I can only imagine this change to his day is going to throw him for a loop ~ counteracting a lot of the good to date.

I do hope things with the year head work out, but it really doesn't appear that they will. You would have thought she would have contacted you in regards to the time out, introducing herself and asking for your input prior to deciding on anything, being that she is new. From the sounds of it you have provided that school with a wealth of information. They know you are parents who are able to be easily contacted & involved and who have taken the time to be in the know as it relates to your son... guessing that's why they act as they do. They aren't as in the know as they should be and I guess don't want to be held to task. And if they view dealing with your son as a task I personally think they are in the wrong profession.

Keep us posted and I hope this time out doesn't throw a wrench in the works. :)

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Mayhem of Motherhood
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Oct/16/2007, 7:34 pm Link to this post Send PM to 1lost1 Yahoo
 
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EEK!!


No we're not stunned, it's what we expect! This new lady is taking the tough approach, i reckon she thinks we've all got away with murder the last year and she's not having that.......hnar......bring it on emoticon

Did i mention that our son said about the irish teacher that if she spent more time teaching and less time criticizing that she might get better results…..out of the mouths of babes….

Teachers in this country are totally molly coddled - they work to the book and don't have to do anything more than that. I too find it hard to believe that all parents wouldn't be told there was a new year head and given the contact details etc let alone the parents of a special needs child.

To be honest our son isn't too bothered, he just doesn't understand what's happening or why. He could be excluded for as long as a week from that class - he's attending his other classes and the teachers in question just don't see why they should do any learning around this. I have no problem with exclusion from a class being part of a structured approach - and as a last resort after a warning etc - i do have a problem with them just doing it whenever he acts up. Anyway the IEP is next week so we'll see. We may still get summonsed in as this new woman is determined that we get a 'telling off' i suspect but we will only go in to talk to her if she has an ASD input present. It could be a small fracas ensuing or WW3 - will keep you up to date.


Edited to give update - really you WON'T believe this one. Son gets home, letter in folder saying basically here is a list of all the work that his class did during class adn the assigned homework. Our son told them quite clearly that if he was banned from the class he wasn't doing the work - I wrote back just now saying that as they refused our suggestion to work this out during the IEP and decided to exclude him then i suggested tehy went to whoever recommended this and ask them how to explain this to a child with ASD. We certainly wouldn't know where to start. Oh yes they said 'it is in your son's best interest to keep up to date with his irish' - my son just said to me 'it was in my best interest for them not to exclude me' and i wrote to them that 'it was in his best interest for the adults working with him to come together wtih parents and ASD personnel to work out how to deal with the incident and prevent it happening again' - they are really blowing this out of all order.

Last patched up by suzidfloosey, Nov/13/2007, 3:28 am


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Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
Oscar Wilde
Oct/17/2007, 3:57 am Link to this post Send PM to suzidfloosey
 


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